THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES END UP CONTROLLING US…I FINALLY TOLD MYSELF A BETTER ONE.
About David
I live in the UK with my beautiful wife, Helenlee and son Leo. I enjoy a good beer, coffee, eating out, and training in Jiu-Jitsu. My profession, calling, and passion is being a coach and showing up in the world as the best version of myself, which is always an ongoing process.
THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES END UP CONTROLLING US…I FINALLY TOLD MYSELF A BETTER ONE.
MY STORY
For most of my life, I have fought a battle between; Feeling unsure of who I was and a deep belief that I am capable of much more. This inner battle continued, but the insecure side of me was winning.
A strong memory I have of my childhood is my stepfather saying to me:
“Little boys should be seen and not heard.”
This turned into a self-perpetuating story that I played in my head and one that quite possibly continued to create the shy, low-confident lad I was. I was frustrated as a child with my parent’s divorce at the age of 5 and not knowing the whole truth behind it until I was in my 30s. I blamed my Mam and Dad for being emotionally unavailable to me. I blamed my stepfather for putting me down. Because of this, I remember spending moments in my childhood and early teens screaming into my pillow or punching my bed, that pure uncontrollable frustration spilling out of me.
Now before you think I’m going to start blaming my parents for all that have been wrong in my life, I’m not. Because for the most part, Some people try and do their best by you, but they struggle with their fears, issues and beliefs and unfortunately, these often get past onto their children.
I’m not going to lie; I’ve held on to these emotions for a very long time and it’s taken a lot of acceptance to move beyond these.
I remember a powerful statement Tony Robbins said;
So truth be told, having a stepfather that told me to keep quiet and not express myself is probably why I’m so driven to share my message and coaching with others.
Having a Mam and Dad I thought were emotionally unavailable to me is one of the reasons I have worked so hard to share my truth as a man.
My low confidence as a child and as a teenager is why I pulled myself out of my comfort zone as much as possible.
I tell you my story so you understand how I got here today, how I came to do what I do and why self-discovery is so important to me.
Throughout my life, I’ve traveled the world and Run two of the world’s most challenging and highest marathons. I built a successful career in the fitness industry and now have a full business as a performance coach. I’ve met the woman who made me a better man and married her. I made some lifelong friends and had some fantastic experiences.
I’ve been successful, I’ve screwed up, I’ve made money, I’ve lost money, I’ve been happy and I’ve been broken. In all of my highs, lows and everyday living, there’s one thing that I wasn’t fully aware of…
THE LOST IDENTITY
In 2016 when we finally had enough, my fiancée and I walked away from our fitness gym; at that moment, I lost a sense of who I was, what I was and where I was going. In the following time, I was crippled with self-doubt and felt lost. It’s like my entire identity was wrapped up in fitness. I was the fitness guy, the personal trainer. It was the role I played.
See, fitness was what got me out of my shell, it allowed me to express myself, be good at something and help others. But that was gone and it felt like I’d failed and failed at business.
I spent years trying to figure out my next step, what I would do next, my next calling…I got nowhere except further into frustration, I felt even more lost and unfulfilled in life.
THE BREAKTHROUGH THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
The breakthrough came two years later when I focused on discovering who I truly am as a person, as a man. Not my job, not my career, not an identity through work, no roles or labels…But who I am and who I am capable of being if I am my best self.
This was not an easy road. I had to get brutally honest with myself, open up about my feelings, get my anger out, I took my pain out on my fiancee, I threw myself into intense exercise as a form of therapy and reassurance. I’ve shouted, I’ve cried, I’ve opened myself up to those closest to me and I had to deal with the possibility of rejection. However, through all this work, I started to understand and believe in myself again.
I have immersed myself in coaching courses, training, reading, therapy, meditation, self-reflection and many sole searching. This journey of self-development and LIFE itself has led me down the road to becoming a performance coach and speaker-
The final hurdle I had to overcome was the stories in my head. The belief that I should be seen and not heard, the level of why people would listen to and not reject me, kept me from pushing my message out to the world. I broke this wall down on Tuesday, 23rd April 2019, when I did my first live talk to an audience on self-development.
I realised through asking myself better questions that all the answers I needed were in my head. I started to question my stories and realise my true potential. My mission is to help others gain clarity and personal confidence in who they are and increase their performance to be all they can and reveal they’re true potential.
Revealing and pursuing our true potential in life as men genuinely drive us. You owe it to yourself to live a life that’s all possible and achieve the fulfillment, income, success and freedom you want.
I owed it to myself to let go of my past, stories, and internal limitations and become the person I know I can and want to be and build the life I want to experience.
The same goes for you, and I can coach you on your journey to reveal your potential. To move out of suffering, stress and lack of inspiration. To create levels of high performance in business and life.
That first step comes from realising enough is enough, when you can’t fake it anymore when you peel back the layers and be honest with yourself. When you stop blaming others and THEN this is the space you can be the person you know deep down you can be.
My invitation to you is to reach out…
David
